Taking a 10,000-foot view, divorce mediation is aimed at finding mutually agreeable resolution to otherwise contested legal issues. But simply because you’re negotiating resolution with your spouse doesn’t mean you have to give into their demands or even find an outcome that sacrifices your goals. To protect your interests as fully as possible, though, you’ll need to know how to use leverage to your advantage during the divorce mediation process.
Why is leverage important in divorce mediation?
Leverage gives you control during divorce mediation. It can force your spouse to agree to terms that are more favorable to you while reducing the amount of conflict that you’ll face throughout the process. This can ease your stress and position you for the future that you want without having to sacrifice as much as you fear.
How to use leverage during the divorce mediation process
Finding and using leverage isn’t as easy as it seems, especially if you’re risk or conflict averse. That’s not to say that using leverage will create an extensive amount of argument during your mediation, but you have to be willing to take control. Here are some necessary actions to effectively utilize leverage in your divorce mediation:
- Identify your spouse’s goals: If you can identify what it is that your spouse really wants and needs out of the divorce process, then you can use that information to your advantage. With those goals in mind, you can figure out which marital assets you can use to push your spouse to give concession on issues that are important to you. For example, if your spouse really wants to keep the family business, then maybe you can agree to let that go in exchange for a larger portion of the estate’s retirement assets.
- Understand what motivates your spouse from a psychological perspective: Sure, you may be able to identify some of the goals that your spouse hopes to achieve during divorce mediation, but you can also leverage your position by understanding what really drives them. Do they desire to secure a social perception that makes them look wealthy, do they want to feel like a good parent, or are they afraid that the facts of your marriage will lead to embarrassment if made public? If you can figure out what motivates your spouse, then you’ll have better direction as far as how to leverage the outcome that you want.
- Protect your privacy: Leverage won’t get you far if your spouse can turn around and use it against you. Therefore, before trying to pressure your spouse to agree to an outcome that’s favorable to you, take some time to anticipate what they’ll try to use against you so that you can find ways to mitigate it. Also, keep your personal dealings private during your divorce. Staying off social media and being careful with what you say to family members, friends, your children and your spouse can help protect your position.
Use the divorce mediation process with confidence
We know that the pressures of divorce can be overwhelming at times. But at some point, you have to muster the courage to confront the process head-on. By doing so, you’ll hopefully develop a sound divorce legal strategy that focuses on effectively protecting your interests and your future. This very well may include utilizing leverage to your advantage. B