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Communication with Your Ex: Phone or Email?

D'Angelo & Grabow, LLP June 5, 2020

A collaborative divorce means that you and the person who will soon be your ex need to know how to communicate. You need to be able to work together. Without this spirit of cooperation, this type of divorce simply doesn’t work.

So, when communicating, how should you go about it? Is using a phone call better than sending an email or a text message? Will that help your divorce proceed smoothly, the way that you want it to?

It certainly can. For one thing, these conversations naturally lead to a lot of questions, and those types of conversations work better on the phone. It’s a conversation held in real-time where you can answer questions, ask your own and seek clarification. Text messages and email messages make this harder because of the distance between questions and answers, along with potential miscommunication regarding which question you’re answering.

Some people also believe that talking on the phone allows you to be more civil and respectful, though this clearly varies from person to person. When you have the distance provided by a written digital message, you may be more likely to say something spiteful or hurtful that you may regret later. For others, though, a phone call increases the emotion of the conversation and may be worse. Just choose what works best for you.

A final advantage is that you get faster answers when you communicate by phone. If you send a text and the other person doesn’t answer for 24 hours, will that create resentment? You want to stay on good terms, and the phone speeds things up.

If you think that you and your spouse can effectively cooperate and work toward a divorce resolution that you both support, it’s time to start looking into the legal options you have.